## Saturday, September 11, 2010

### So My Friend Is Conducting an Experiment...

41 comments 5:18 PM Posted by Joe Dirt## Friday, September 10, 2010

### In Soviet Russia...

36 comments 3:35 PM Posted by Joe DirtSo I'm obsessed with this song/video. It starts out kinda slow but I find it pretty addicting... and you might actually learn something from it as well!

### Trying Out Some New Themes

6 comments 3:24 PM Posted by Joe DirtThe title says it all. Another interesting YouTube video I found coming shortly...

## Thursday, September 9, 2010

### Mental Math Trick

32 comments 2:47 PM Posted by Joe DirtI'm an exceptionally nerdy guy, so I found this fairly cool:

## Tuesday, September 7, 2010

## Monday, September 6, 2010

### Some More Jokes

21 comments 7:39 PM Posted by Joe DirtQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?

A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?

A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?

A1: Thanks Guys.

A2: Are you boys all in the same band?

A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?

A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?

A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?

A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?

A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?

A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?

A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?

A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?

A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?

A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

### Jokes

14 comments 2:13 PM Posted by Joe DirtAn infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.

The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint...

"I understand", says the bartender - and pours two pints.

Q: When did Bourbaki stop writing books?

A: When they realized that Serge Lang was a single person...

Teacher: What is 2

*k*+

*k*?

Student: 3000!

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

A: Pumpkin Pi!

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?

A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?

A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"

Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"

A mathematician is flying non-stop from Edmonton to Frankfurt with AirTransat. The scheduled flying time is nine hours.

Some time after taking off, the pilot announces that one engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "Don't worry - we're safe. The only noticeable effect this will have for us is that our total flying time will be ten hours instead of nine."

A few hours into the flight, the pilot informs the passengers that another engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "But don't worry - we're still safe. Only our flying time will go up to twelve hours."

Some time later, a third engine fails and has to be turned off. But the pilot reassures the passengers: "Don't worry - even with one engine, we're still perfectly safe. It just means that it will take sixteen hours total for this plane to arrive in Frankfurt."

The mathematician remarks to his fellow passengers: "If the last engine breaks down, too, then we'll be in the air for twenty-four hours altogether!"

A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting.

His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables:

*a*to

*b*,

*x*to

*y*, and so on."

Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying.

After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you

*really*change the names of

*all*the variables?"

"Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function

*f*, I called it

*g*; when you called a variable

*x*, I renamed it to

*y*; and when you were writing about the log of

*x*+1, I called it the timber of

*x*+1..."

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?

A: Nice belt!

The math teacher asks his students: "What is 9 times 7?"

He gets several answers - all are either 62 or 65.

"Come on - the correct answer can either be 62 or 65!"

"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"

"No wonder! He's into scientific computing - and she's incalculable!"

Q: How does one insult a mathematician?

A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any >0!"

Q: What does a mathematician present to his fiancée when he wants to propose?

A: A polynomial ring!

The chef instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."

The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"

"Well - just take a larger pot!"

A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician.

"How old, do you think, am I?" she asks coyly.

"Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself..."

Q: What is the most erotic number?

A: 2110593!

Q: Why?

A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3...

**Theorem.**A cat has nine tails.

*Proof.*No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.

Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

A: A high school math problem!

Trigonometry for farmers: swine and coswine...

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin...

Q: What is a mathematician's pick when faced with the choice between poutine and eternal bliss in the afterlife?

A: Poutine! Because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and poutine is better than nothing.

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?

A: Möbius Dick...